Just because you feel it doesn't mean it's there.

Ah...my last day of work at Foresight. I can almost taste the freedom.

Actually, I'll probably be coming in once or twice a month to help my dad out with things, do the taxes, that type stuff. But Foresight will no longer be home for me. This will no longer be "my office" or "my computer". I have to admit, it feels really strange. I'm fixing to relinquish a large amount of power, and even though I'm going to be a manager at my new job, it's going to be a reality check to have an actual boss again. Really, my dad doesn't count. I'm allowed to make my own decisions when it comes to company things around here, and my word is as good as my dad's. Plus the fact that for the next six months, I have to take directions from my little sister. Yup, I'm in for a relearning experience.

At any rate, I've got about a million things to do over here. I've been preparing to leave my job for a couple weeks now, teaching Bonnie how to do all the things I do, trying desperately to remember little things that I'd do automatically and never think to tell her or anyone else. 11 years is a long time. I started working here when I was 14. I remember waking up at 6 to go to work with my dad all those summer mornings so long ago, to do filing and other mundane office tasks for Sharon. I started off making 4.25 an hour, and I thought I was rich. Obviously I've come a long way since then, but I do believe I've hit the ceiling of my Foresight career. I can only hope that the new job will offer bigger and better things. But I am going to miss my dad, believe it or not.

After my first soap making disaster, I have taken the advice of some expert soap makers and decided to try an easier, apparently fool proof recipe. Just as soon as the palm oil I ordered yesterday makes it's way to my house, I shall once again don the soap making attire and smell up half of the house. Soap does not smell good in any way until after it's cured. My tallow soap seems to be doing what it's supposed to do though. In another week or so I'm going to do a pH test on it to see if it's still lye caustic. I've heard about some people who give their soap a "zap test". Simply touching their tongues to the surface, and if they get an electric shock sensation then lye is still present. Somehow that doesn't sound like the best idea. If I am able to use the soap I made, I'm planning on remelting it and adding some scent, possibly some citrus basil or moonlight path. Jennifer wants some peppermint soap too, so I may look into that. I just want it to work, so badly. I want to be cool like those other people that create thier own soap. I want to be one of those awesome people who always have sweet handmade gifts to give to people that they will love and cherish, and talk amongst themselves and say "Wow, I hope Linda gives me some soap for my next worthy of present receiving event!" *sigh* I just want to be loved...

Anyway.

For all worried parties, Chris is doing MUCH better. In fact, he isn't even taking pain medication anymore, and he's moving around just fine. He went back to work yesterday, and there doesn't seem to be any problems. Tonight we are going out to dinner, on an actual date! I'm really excited. :) Plus on Sunday Chris and I are going with my parents to an anniversary party. Some friends of my grandparents are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, and doing a big bbq and dance. It's going to be so much fun, and Chris has promised to try and teach me some moves. He used to be in the Aggie Wranglers! Did any of yall know that?

I have been having tremendous trouble sleeping lately. I just don't get sleepy. For the past few nights in a row, I've been lying there *exhausted* and not sleepy. I finally drift off somewhere between 2 and 4, then have to wake up between 6 and 7ish to get ready for work. Then I'm wide awake all day, and I start to get tired by the end of it but not sleepy. Add to that the fact that I have no appetite whatsoever. I can't even remember the last time I was hungry. Sure, I've still been eating...a little, but I am ingesting food. I can't figure out what's wrong. Last night I slept from 2 to 5:30, and I think the lack of sleep is beginning to catch up to me. Thank God for coffee, I have a lot to do today.

I actually got here at 7:00 this morning, so I'd have enough time to try and get stuff done without staying past 7 in the evening again. So I guess I'd better get off the internet, huh.

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